smiles

smiles...
and then an Awkward silence

Don’t get mad because I’m not myself
Actually I am myself, so get mad
You haven’t seen anything outside of a good mood
And rarely do I let you
So don't mistake me for my silence

I and my silence are two different sides of my personality
Balancing between acts that keep me trapped somewhere in between

My silent moment is my brain's time to think through things
Time to process my next poem
Because I’m probably inspired or pissed off

I’m not here to make you laugh today
I’m here hoping happy has a surprise visit for me
Because lately, smiles only come after looking at the funny face
I make when I’m unhappy in front of a mirror
Smiles are rare since I hardly can deal with a reflection of reflective thought filled eyes
That remind me of what makes me cry
Yeah, I’m going to go there
Take a trip through seas that flow towards the center of the earth
Whether I’m laying down or sitting up
Or leaned up against the wall
Or facing the floor
These seas can only turn into White Water Rivers
When I think of the northern winds that move me so
Don’t mistake me for my silence

My silence's headache has never complained
About anything more than a migraine of confusion
Between words that hardly exist
So my silence's message says
"don't read between the lines, read between the letters -
I’ve written to you"

Letters written in silence
Between lines of miscommunication
My dropped calls were really red buttons
That cut off the fuel to the flame that I thought could never be extinguished
I’m sorry
Please don't mistake me for my silence

Ask me why I’m quiet
I’ll say nothing is wrong
Because everything is right
Right where left wants it to be
Left left me in between a fetus and a loss of lost love
Because I do still think about her
And more constantly do I find myself thinking
Thinking in silence
So don't mistake me for my silence,
Because my silence, is my loudest poetry.

poetic wasteland

You make up my written archive;
my indefinite poetic wasteland of
lost pages, crumbled down into nothingness
with the forces of my passionate hatred of love that I hate

baby I love you

The more I tell you that,
the more I tell myself not to;
The more I do it,
the more I tell myself I wouldn't write another damn love poem.
But here I am breaking it down as I
Pour my soul in between these cheap lines of white...

and blue college ruled looseleaf paper... you keep me high!
again and again

and again... and again...
Breathing your sweet scent in when you're nowhere to be found
Exasperating out your sour spirit because I can't see you
Resorting to corny punchlines to keep an audience captivated during a love poem
Brings me lower than dirt in New Orleans in which you pushed me down into
I'm dying a living death

I'm dying a living death because in your presence,
I miss you more than when I'm far from you
I find myself as one confused motherfucker
Spilling different emotions through having
multiple personalities which keep me parked in a sane state of mind
while it drives me insane

Baby turn your headlights on so you can leave me in the dark

Leave me in the dark to hitch-hike another ride back to you
So I can ride your insanity
because we're both unsanitary on high beam

High and bright lights so now I can see ahead
A Head that contains a mind that I'm still inside of
Peeling out lost memories that have GPS tracking so
Now I feel rich in you because you got navigation on your shit

and then we ran out of gas but baby you can still turn me
i love the way you ride but i hate your broken steering wheel
I can't see in front of me because of this crack in the windshield
broken door handles compare to the broken entrance to my heart

DWI - with you I'm so high
Drunk off of the madness that separates us

we attract like opposite magnets
but the magnitude of the attraction couldn't possibly be
reflected through a metaphor...

a drunk separation and yet it brings us closer...

to a Crash... its seems like we're never coming home